Mator Swims

Mator is about to finish her 12th week of swim classes and she has made amazing progress. Part of our ritual is for Mator to hide in a locker (she completely shuts the door) and then I find her. This is all well and good if I am in on the game. It's not really funny when I go to the bathroom and return to find her, well, missing!The first few weeks of class all she did was smile the whole time. I can't believe her cheeks weren't tired. She even smiled as she was swimming across the pool. Things got harder and she doesn't smile all the time but still has a great time. She can now jump off the side with no floaties, turn around and swim back to the side without any help. This will make me feel a lot better, especially after last summer's scare. We were at the pool and she took her life jacket off because she needed to go to the bathroom. As is the prerogative of two year olds (at that time), she quickly changed her mind and wanted to swim again. I left her at the edge of the pool while I went to get the life jacket. I gave her strict instructions: Do not move from this spot. Now, these instructions would have gone a long way with my older two children. I would have expected to find them in the same spot and they would have been there. Not this bird. I reached our chair, picked up her life jacket and turned around. She was gone. I surveyed the 25 or so feet between where I was standing and where I had left her. Mostly there was pool. I immediately looked down into the water and there she was, standing on the bottom of the shallow end, eyes as big as saucers looking up. All of 40 seconds passed between the time I left her side and the time I jumped into the pool and picked her out of the water. She started coughing and crying and spent the rest of that afternoon on my lap.

I wish I could say that it scared her so much she obeyed me from that moment on. But, I can't. I can say that I will feel a LOT better when she is old enough to be on the swim team and tread water and oh yeh-obey!

Mator's Friends

Mator has some best buddies. Well, truth be told, she's her own best friend. She has been playing in her room with her "Little People" for the last twenty minutes totally engaged and having a ball by herself. But, when she wants some company, she loves to play with these guys. Ethan and Bryce are friends from church and they go to preschool on Wednesdays with Mator. So she sees them Sundays and twice on Wednesdays (school and church again). There is another boy, PJ, whom she also adores. She sees him at church too.

These boys are gems. God didn't give me any boys for a reason, but if he had, I would hope they would be like these three little guys. They give me hope that there are nice boys who are respectful and kind but also manly-men (as far as little boys go).

Here are Ethan, Bryce and Mator on their second day of preschool last September (singing, "If you're happy and you know it")After school that day I took them to Rising park to burn off some energy.Here they are this week at our house. I sent them out to the deck to play and gave them some bubbles. Then Mator came inside and asked for some towels so they could have a "beach party". Sure, that sounds like fun. I was sitting just inside the deck door working on my computer and when I looked out at them, I noticed that they were undressing. Hmmmm, what kind of beach is this?? I let them all go topless (it was 65 degrees!) and they seemed to be OK with that. This is why I just love 3 and 4 year olds-aren't they so cute!

Tell me again why honesty is so great?

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I was sitting in church and was feeling a little self conscious. I leaned over to my darling nine year old daughter and whispered, "Does my sweater smell funny?" She dutifully took a whiff, looked up at me and whispered back, "No. But your breath does."
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It was a rare moment indeed. I found myself alone in the bathroom. And miraculously - there was sudden rush to join me. No one was maimed and bleeding profusely, no one had feelings that were hurt by a sister, no one felt obliged to access the facilities that I was inhabiting (even though we have two other equally lovely facilities in our home). Then, as soon as I had realized the solitude one is entitled to at such times, it was broken. Mator entered the room with one hand full of Polly Pockets and the other full of accessories. She sat down on the floor (because after all, where else would Polly want to hang out?). Then the little angel stands right back up, looks at me accusingly and asks, "Do you want some privacy?". Indeed!

Raiding the Dress up Box

I kind of resent the fact that Halloween is celebrated on the last day of the month. Somehow, that makes my posting in November about it seem late. But the reality is, it was only 12 days ago. And that's not too bad for me!

So here they are ready to go trick or treating.There's muffin the clown.... Mator is Cinderella...
and Doodle is.... any guesses? Give up? A roller skater. Really. I am not making this up. I tried to gently persuade her to possibly add something to her costume in the minutes before we headed out the door. And her response? "I am. I am wearing roller skates." There is a connection to last year's Halloween (click here to read that).

So what is a mom to do? I was a little afraid of having "that kid" who wouldn't wear a costume but wanted candy. But in her mind, she was totally incognito. Here is how she dressed up for the kindergarten party at her school. They don't celebrate Halloween but they do celebrate with a harvest party. All the kids are allowed to dress up as scarecrows or farmers. Now this is cute...

Mator's First Day

Last week, my just barely three year old Mator had her first day of preschool. This is a one day a week preschool sponsored by our local parks and rec called Alley Park Kids. Doodle did this a few years ago and it was a great way to get used to being away from home, working with other kids and following directions. Plus, it is a lot of fun!

Mator has been having some "issues" with leaving us lately. I think it is just related to all the changes in her life-moving to a big girl bed, getting rid of binkies and potty training-but she doesn't do very well when we leave her somewhere. In fact, she tends to be that kid whose cries escalate to a scream and they have to be removed from the classroom so that the teacher doesn't lose her hearing and the other kids don't misinterpret her tears to mean, "Hey guys, why don't you cry too? It is SOOOO much fun!"

So after we dropped off the big sisters we headed over to Alley Park (or snake school as her friend from church who also goes there calls it). She was very excited, and in fact had been counting down the days for two weeks. Here she is right outside the school.
Here she is right INSIDE the school. Notice the different smile. The nervous smile. The "you said you would stay with me the first day and you really meant that, right?" smile
Here she is waiting for the first activity. This smile is either still pretty nervous or something like, "Are you ever going to stop taking pictures? I mean seriously, I just took three steps and sat at this table. Whoopty-crap!"And this is at Mc Donalds after school-we're back to a real smile:
Doggone, she's cute, if I do say so. And no tears. Yet. This week I'm going to leave for part of the class. Stay tuned!

As Promised..American Idol Look Out!

I am attempting to post a video clip of a recent performance by Mator. This was taken during our Foster family vacation to Tennessee this year. We have a talent show every year and this year it extended over a period of several days.

Mator chose to do a singing / dancing routine that, like all of her performances, are completely unrehearsed. This was the final performance of the evening and has been edited from a 6.5 minute routine down to a 3.5 minute piece. For those of you not interested in all that, the final 45 seconds is really the best part. I have attempted to translate and put the words onto the video (as much as I can) but because it is saved as a windows media file (much smaller than my original file) some of the resolution has been lost. I think you'l get the idea though!

Introducing: Mator! Her act was preceeded by that of her lovely cousins, Justine and Jill singing two numbers from the Broadway musical "Wicked". Also performing were the Foster trio (Jared, Justine and Jill) singing their version of the old classic, "Skunk in the Middle of the Road". And the theatrical debut of Justine, Muffin, Annabelle and Wilson in the "Question and Answer Report". Now heeeeeeeeere's Mator!

We like to call this little number, "You thought I wasn't listening but I heard everything you said!"

Sailing Camp - Buckeye Lake Yacht Club

I'm about to go on a blogging spree. I wrote a few entries over vacation and will schedule their posting over the next few days so check back often! Here's a quick one about Muffin...
Muffin has had a very busy summer. In addition to swim team and softball, she also had a week of sailing camp at Buckeye Lake. It was an ideal situation for her to learn the basics of sailing and gain some confidence on the water with a bunch of friends. In addition to her cousin Annabelle, my cousin’s two kids (Ian and Olivia) came in for the week. Also, Annabelle’s friends (Michael, Mattie, Katie and Susannah) who are Muffin’s friends too made it lots of fun for her.

I grew up at Buckeye Lake (well, not literally but I spent A LOT of time there) and had many years of sailing camp-some fun, some not. It is a very long day (9-4) and being an introvert, it was exhausting for me. Plus I usually didn’t know anyone very well and it always seemed like everyone else knew each other. Really, all kinds of camps were a pain for me. I was always anxious to get back home. So I was really hopeful that things would work out for Muffin because she is a lot like me. The weather was great except for one day and having so many friends there seemed to make the difference because on Thursday when I told her, “Don’t worry, we still have one more day!” She replied, “What?!! It is only ONE week?”

Here she is getting an Opti ready to sail. She is putting in the centerboard.

Here she is sailing with one of the instructors. It was a very windy day so she ended up being one of only a few to take the tiller. Most of the other kids just went out with their instructor at the tiller.

Here she is with my cousin's daughter, Olivia. She even stayed at our house for a few nights during the week and the girls had a ball together.

Some days, while Muffin was out on the lake, the rest of us would hang out at the Yacht Club pool. Here is Mator making herself at home with someone's sun glasses!

Columbus Zoo and Aquarium

We went to the Columbus Zoo and Aquarium yesterday and had a very nice time. Doodle, having just completed preschool was kind of gyped out of a preschool field trip to the zoo. When Muffin was in preschool, they went every year. They don't do that anymore so I wanted to take Doodle. My mom has a membership that allows us all to go for free (THANKS MOM!!) so she and I took Doodle and Mator.

It was neat because we didn't go last year so neither of them remembers anything about the zoo so it is like the first time for both.

Some highlights:

Two month old baby Asian elephant:


There is a long line to see this and I was trying to figure out why. It seemed like I had seen a baby elephant there before. It turns out that Asian elephants born in captivity are VERY rare (as in one or two a year) and the earlier elephants were African elephants. Interesting.

Another favorite moment: feeding the Lorikeets. Actually, feeding the Lorikeets freaks me out, so I realized that if I stay behind the camera, they ignore me and land on other people (like my kids). One landed on Mator's head and it was hysterical!

She was so good about not screaming or jumping around (two of her trademark activities) but just standing still and being uneasy.



Here are some other random shots:

Doodle cuddling with a Tiger:Merry Go Round with Grammy:
Mator standing (and acting like) a stingray:


Only downer: it rained. I like to think of myself as prepared but I was totally not in this case. I had wipes, hand sanitzer, snacks, lunch, towel (for table cloth/blanket/ shade/etc.), change of clothes for Miss Potty Trained, video and still camera. Everything. Except rain coats or umbrellas. Last time I checked there was a chance of showers in the afternoon and I thought we'd be gone by then. So, we were pretty wet. But no one complained about that (except maybe me!)

We got home about 4:00 and just skipped naps (WHAT!!!). Then Andy took Doodle and Mator to visit his Grandmother Mona who is in the hospital. Muffin and I went to see cousins (Justine, Jared & Abbey) in their band/choir/strings concert. They all did so well and Muffin and I especially got into the Music Man medley that was performed (tried not to embarass anyone but how can you not march and sing to "76 Trombones" ??) and a Phantom of the Opera medley. And, my niece was correct when she said that their last song, "Intensity", was the "Greatest song in the world, LITERALLY."

These Days are Yucky

There are some parts of being a stay at home mom that make me wish I had another occupation listed on my census report. Most days cook, teacher, housekeeper, driver, entertainer, trainer would be other names for my job and those are all parts that are usually a joy to do. Today, however, the chief duty could be best described as "big meanie". This is a "draw a line in the sand" kind of day. We've had them with each of our children, usually in the two to three age range of our children. Some may argue that is far too late but that is when it happens for us. I remember the day Doodle spent nearly 6 hours on the couch because she refused to comply with an instruction that Andy had given. She got off the couch only to go to bed for her nap then was returned to the couch to scream or whatever. By the end of the day, our authority was clear to her. Not to say that she never challenges our authority, just that there is never a question of who is going to have it at the end of the day. Today is Mator's day.

Early in our playtime this morning someone decided to play with the lite brite. Let me just say that there is a special place in the afterlife for those who produce (or give as gifts) lite brites and Polly Pockets. I have never known a parent who bought one of these things for their own children. Anyway... Mator thought it would be a joy to dump out the entire bag of nearly 300 pegs. Oh, and throw them joyfully into the air. The result was me telling her that she had to pick them all up before she could do anything else. So here we are, almost two hours later. Screaming, crying and general fit throwing have wound down and it appears that the pegs will be returned to their bucket. (Miraculously, the screaming, crying and fit throwing was restricted to the under three crowd only today!)

So why do I bother? Why don't I just pick them up and be done with it? Why don't I let Doodle (who has such a heart of empathy that she cried when I explained that THIS time, she wasn't allowed to help Mator) just pick them up like she wanted to? Here's why:

"Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is well pleasing to the Lord." Colossians 3:20. God has put us in authority over our children for a reason. We may not think we are worthy or equipped but He has done so nevertheless. In fact, He has put all of us under the authority of someone here on earth. Wives submit to your husbands (Ephesians 5:22), to our laws and government (1 Peter 2:13), and to God Himself (James 4:7). How much easier would it be to learn humility and submission as a child than to be an adult and still not get it. We teach our children that we are their authority not because we are perfect and deserve their utmost respect. But because God has given them to us and He expects it. As our children grow in wisdom, we gradually make the link from submitting to us to submitting to the Lord.

Now, I'd much rather spend every day at the zoo or water park - those are the fun days of parenting. I'll be glad when this episode is all over and I can only pray that my Mator's heart is one step closer to the God who created her.

Hairclub for Toddlers

My reader (that is, my mother in law) insists that this kind of story never gets old, but if it does to you, get used to it! That's what I keep telling myself as these things just continue to happen. My last lengthy installment was back in the fall although I know I sprinkle these stories in as they happen too. And before I get a lecture about lack of supervision from anyone, please tell me how a mom is supposed to put a load of laundry in the dryer and a new one in the washer if she can't leave her 2 1/2 year old unsupervised for a few minutes!! Seriously, baby wearing a 30 pound toddler can get really tiresome. So here are a couple things that happened this week, some captured forever with digital photographs and some better left to the imagination...

Let's start with last Thursday, the day Mator got two baths within a three hour period. The first was just before nap. I left her contentedly playing in the playroom with the Barbies for 10 minutes while I was putting away laundry upstairs (it's always the laundry isn't it? HMMMM, if only that was something I could eliminate!) I heard her come upstairs and I thought, "Oh good, just in time to take a nap!" The first thing I noticed that was her diaper was off. That usually means she pooped and sure enough, when she turned around, there was a wipe in her hand, covered in brown. But that's not all. Her heiny, hand and [wait for it] MOUTH were all covered in brown. "What is that??? Is that poop on your hands??" There was only one way to find out, I grabbed her hand and....sniffed it. Good news, for the moment, was that it didn't smell like poop (although her heiny clearly DID). Turned out, she must have sought to prove our preemptive measures useless. I had finally moved the treat basket to about the only place in the house she can't get to (and I still can) so she decided to settle for Nestle's Quik that she found in the pantry. There on the kitchen floor was the almost empty canister, a spoon still resting inside and the brown powdered evidence all over the vinyl flooring. The second bath involved more poop but no chocolate so it's not worth repeating here.

A couple nights later, Andy and I were preparing dinner for some good friends of ours. The big girls were outside playing and Mator was in her room (so we thought) while we put together the last minute details of dinner. When I went up to check on her, I found her sitting in Muffin's bunkbead (disobedience #1), with scissors in her hand (#2) and cutting the hair of the doll that we bought in Alaska for Muffin on our once in a lifetime trip (#3). The dolls black braids were all over the pink sheets and at first that was all that I noticed. I grabbed the scissors, then grabbed her, then started grabbing BLOND hair off of my shirt. I began to run my fingers through her already fine hair and huge clumps just started coming off in my hands (#4). I was about to throw up. The next few minutes were a flurry of child training techniques all blended together: First there was the spanking, then came the guilt inducing, "How could you do this?", then the rational dialogue: "Scissors and bunkbead are dangerous", more guilt, "This is Muffin's doll..." and wrapping up with a "Your hair looks really bad!" Final damage:This was about a four inch long section that went right to the front of her head.

This hair in the back was about 6 inches long. She's back to where she was when she was about 1 1/2 years old. So what do I do? Do I cut it all off? Make her look like a little boy? Chalk it up to experience? And please, someone tell me you had some crazy child like this who grew up to be a productive member of society???

All Bundled Up

Debi, over at "Who says 8 is Enough" has a fun challenge for Sundays called Baby Picture Sundays and this week's theme is "Bundled Up". I really was excited about this theme because well, basically I can use it to irritate my spouse. See we get some cold weather around these parts and a snowsuit for babies is a must. Also, I am a cheapskate and rely on the kindness of family members to give us lots of wonderful hand-me-downs. Every once in a while there is something that, how should I say this, isn't quite my taste. But the practical side of me usually wins out. Especially when it comes to a snowsuit that will be worn for a total of less than 12 hours before you pass it on to someone else. So while this snowsuit is perfectly wonderful at keeping my children warm, Andy has resisted its use for every one of my children claiming it is more of a punishment than life enhancing device. Too bad! All three have worn it and not one of them complained-here is Muffin in 2002:
Here is Doodle is December of 2007 with one of my favorite hats on her head:
And here is Mator (from last week) in another adorable snowsuit that unfortunately makes her look like the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man but again, she's warm!
And this is one of my favorite winter pictures ever-Mator was about 7 months old and we had an impromptu winter party at our pond with sledding and skating. Here she is in the backpack watching everyone else:

So there they all are - All bundled up!

Remember when?

I remember the first few days after Muffin, my oldest daughter, was born-nearly eight years ago. I remember we had to sleep with our pinky in her mouth at the hospital because that was the only way she would sleep. The first two nights we were home we put her in a bassinet in our bedroom to sleep and she did OK. I, on the other hand, sat up straight in bed, pulse pounding, adrenaline pumping every time she so much as sighed. After two nights of this, I reluctantly agreed with Andy that she should move down the hall to her bedroom for my sake.

The first night she slept in her room (at a mere four days old) was really the first time she was out of sight of both Andy and I. As I lay in my own bed, Muffin sleeping soundly in hers down the hall, I cried. I imagined her growing up so quickly so that before I knew it, she was walking, then in school, then moving out! I told myself how irrational those tears were but the caring was so intense that I wasn't prepared for it.

Flash forward almost eight years and add two more children. How is it even possible that the same mother who wept over her child advancing to a stage where she could sleep in her own room could not know until morning that her two year old had had a bloody nose? This is how Mator looked when I got her out of bed yesterday morning. At first I thought, "Has she snuck some kind of chocolate into her bed?" Then I used my superior deduction skills and followed the dark trail into her nose and realized it was dried blood! Apparently it had bled and run down her face, avoiding her mouth where her binky was carefully perched. Poor little neglected girl! I really do love her just as much as that baby whose every sigh broke my slumber!

Mator's "new" clothes

A friend of mine is so generous to give me many of her daughters' beautiful hand me downs for Mator. They really are darling. The older two think it is Christmas when my sister in law brings down a bag of clothes that don't fit them anymore but usually by the time Mator gets to them, they are all but done. So now that she has her own "new" clothes (new to her) she gets in on the fun too. This is my first attempt at video production, rather an experiment. Muffin has an inexpensive camera that does video and stills and this is using hers since our current video camera is VHS.

Thank you Eileen (and Emily and Olivia) for the beautiful clothes and the fun for Mator!

Mator's Vision Improves

I did it. Eight years after the birth of my first daughter, I cut some hair. Although I was chastised by a friend (jokingly) for not taking her to a salon for this momentous occasion, I decided to do it myself. I just couldn't see spending ten dollars on a haircut for a two year old that would take a total of 84 seconds to complete. And if there is one thing I learned growing up in the age of big hair, teasing and perms, it's that hair grows back. So here is her "before" picture (notice the slightly raised chin in an attempt to see under the hair):



And here she is "after". Andy held her arms down and snip - snip it was done! It is funny how much older she suddenly looks. Later, when asked by Pop and Sue where she got her haircut, she replied, "At the fair!"

Yes, I saved the hair but I have no idea why. Has anyone else ever looked at their own baby hair as an adult and thought, "Wow. This is gross. What am I going to do with this?" When I find this in the shower I put on rubber gloves, close my eyes and throw it away. Why do we keep things like this? Is this strictly an American tradition? But, like a good traditionalist, I kept my own children's hair, too. If for no other reason so that they can ask, "Why?" when they are adults!

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Mator is frequently expressing her desire to attend school, just like her big sisters. I am frequently expressing my desire to pull my hair out because of Mator's antics. In the spirit of "Back to School Essays", I think this is what Mator would have to say...

Well, I spent a lot of time naked, as you can see from my pictures. That's only partly because I was making an honest attempt at using the potty. Additionally, I'm doing some research on "non-traditional fashion". The picture above is shows my swimwear line. It's pretty low budget and functional too! [Here is the part where mom interjects the"rest of the story"... while all the kids are playing in the sprinkler/yard, Mator sneaks into the garage, takes off her clothes and puts these on]

This picture shows my cosmetic line, it's a little "tribal" but I think it will catch on! [Mator gets into the face paint crayons!]

I'm trying out this sticker ensemble but it still seems like a work in progress. [No real story hear, this is what I get for constantly saying, "Stickers go on paper and people ONLY]


Got clean laundry in a basket? Let me help with that...


We went to Williamsburg, Virginia this summer and all I got was this lousy water bottle (and a minor black eye!) [Yeh, so this happened in June and I really can't remember how!]


My big sisters played softball and sometimes I liked to hang out in the van. Especially when I could find some random candy under a seat. MMMMM! Tastes like carpet! This lip color is really more for fall though! [Andy coached and the setting is not really conducive to letting a 2 year old run around. So a lot of the time I let her climb around in the van while I stood outside and watched as much of the game as possible. This was one of those times I regretted that.]



This is my experiment with green permanent marker. Notice that it is NOT to be worn in conjunction with a diaper. I mean, permanent marker stains, I don't want that on my DIAPER! [I was more concerned with getting the stains out of the vinyl flooring. Tried hairspray and that worked pretty well, the rest came up with a Mr. Clean Magic eraser-just a little FYI!]

Second chance to guess

For those of you playing along at home, here is the second and updated clue. (Click here if you haven't read the first one)
1. It is NOT related to any bodily functions (so turd and colon are out although it is hollow and would make an excellent model of either if anyone ever needs to make a model of either of those things...)
2. As a replica - in its finished state - it will be seen at Doodle's preschool on Friday.


Step two involved some painting so it is hanging below our deck. If you think Mator looks terrified of this object, you are only slightly wrong. Terrified is a strong word. Really, really frightened would be more accurate.

Daily Dose of Drama

When you have three little girls (and one big one) living in your house, it goes without saying that there is going to be some serious drama on occasion and today we had ourselves a little bit of drama. Above, you will notice the scariest looking fake Barbie that ever existed. It makes me wonder what the Chinese people that make these things think that white people look like! In her defense, she did start out with hair covering a little more of her head but the rest of her is just like we got her when Doodle delightedly chose her from the treasure box at the dentist's office last week. She dons a 1980's "Desperately Seeking Susan" wardrobe and her ring of hair was pulled up into a top of the head pony tail. All that being said, she is really only creepy because her arms and feet are flat like paper and Doodle regularly amputates and re-attaches the arms as part of the fun. When Doodle chose this doll (named Sally) I think I secretly hoped that all the other Barbies would prey upon Sally's inferiority and complete lack of coolness causing Sally to throw herself over the edge of the kitchen counter, falling to her death and landing (conveniently) in the trash can. I even set her on said counter more than once hoping she might get the idea. Sadly (for Doodle), a much more devastating turn of events occured this morning when Mator found Sally. Unable to resist the urge to put Sally's punky ponytail in her mouth, Mator yanked the front part of her hairline clean out thus revealing her really ineffective hairplug surgery.

Doodle shed many tears so I eventually agreed to try and fix her (hopefully Gorilla glue is not toxic to creepy fake Barbies). I'm hoping that when Doodle gets home from school she will have forgotten about her; but even if she does, I suspect that Sally will be giving me nightmares for some time!

A "Ho' Bag!"

It has finally happened!! Mator took herself to the potty and "dropped the kids off at the pool". She "took the Browns to the Super Bowl" or "released some hostages". YEH! This was not a particularly good morning as far as these things go. Walking around almost naked all morning, she had actually peed twice on the floor which is very unusual. She also found a highlighter and redecorated my TV room walls and the slipcover on the couch but that is totally unrelated and not so unusual.

She was playing downstairs with us and the next thing I know I hear her yelling, Mommy, come here! See this!" When I found her she was still yelling, and standing beside her potty. I, of course, did not have to fake excitement at this wonderful act. She wanted to try for some more so here is a part of our conversation as she sat on the pot...

ME: (Singing potty song) Mator went poopy in the potty, Mator went poopy in the potty, Mator went poopy in the pooooottttttyyyyyy-And now she gets a whole bag!
(Whole bag is simply a reference to the fact that doing a #2 in the potty gets a toddler a "whole bag" of monkey fruit snacks. This is significant because doing a #1 only gets said toddler ONE monkey fruit snack)
Mator: Ho' Bag!!
ME: Yes!! As soon as you are done!

A few minutes later, after viewing her efforts multiple times before I could dump it in the big potty our conversation continued:
Mator: Eat it? (this said in the sincerest little voice)
ME: Oh good night NO! Poopy is yucky! It will make you sick!
Mator: Daddy eat it?
ME: Oh NO! No one eats poop-it makes you very sick!
Mator: No one?
ME: No one.
Mator: That's yucky!

So if Mator ever happens to "spackle the bowl" at your house, and she calls out "ho' bag!" you will know that she is not calling names in urban slang, she is simply celebrating her achievement!