What Are the Chances?

When I went to bed last night I thought, "Instead of getting up early like I always do (in order to be showered and ready for the day when I wake the kids) I'm going to wait to take my shower so that Doodle can "fix" my hair in braids and pony tails and ribbons that will have to be cut out like she has been begging to do for the last 3 days." The plan was that after this fun time, I would lock the two of them in Mator's room and take a shower. Yes, I did say lock them in the room but I'll get to that later. What are the chances that after three days of begging to do my hair that Doodle would emit an expressionless, "No." when I excitedly offered her the opportunity after breakfast?

Mator decided she was going to wear Ariel panties this morning and doggone it, I couldn't change her mind. We have been working on the potty and apparently she is a superstar for both sets of grandparents. So I thought, this is good practice. What are the chances that the panties will be soaked within 20 minutes? What are the chances that the replacement pull up will be "UH hum" full in another 20 minutes but darling daughter will remove the offending article herself and not tell her mommy?

Later on, of course, I did have to take that shower so I put Mator in her room with all the binkies she could handle, her books and her Little People (and a diaper!) and told her I'd be back in ten minutes. I locked her in her room (a few months ago I turned the door knob around so that it locks from the outside for just this kind of emergency. And hopefully this doesn't freak anybody out, especially you guys that only have one kid. She really is perfectly safe in there). So a few minutes into my shower Doodle and Mator both wander into the bathroom (because as every mom knows, small children think it is their duty to "protect" their mothers everytime they are in the bathroom from any and all kinds of evil. And the way to do that is to stand right beside them asking deep questions about life like, "Why can't I have a piece of gum right now?" and fighting with siblings while just out of reach) So anyway, my response to hearing these two sets of feet was,
"Doodle, did you let Mator out of her room?"
"No"
"Did you open the door?"
"No"
"How did she get out? I locked her in there for a reason!"
"She came out the tunnel in the closet into my room and got out"
"OH".
What are the chances that the "tunnel" (really a hole built into the wall between the kids' closets that is big enough for them to crawl through) that I intentionally put in when we built this house to add to the fun of it would be used as an escape route for my two year old?

The fun just continued.
I am subbing every Tuesday and Weds. from 2-3 at Muffin's school for the month of November. My babysitter that is family fell through so I had to have another sitter at the last minute. What are the chances that all of my dirty laundry is sorted into piles on the floor and the whole house needs to be swept because the one day of my life that I decide that popcorn is good enough for lunch is the day that a non family member comes at the last minute to babysit?

So I began furiously sweeping the house when I was interrupted. Have any other moms had this happen when you are trying to get something done...You see a darling child doing something that you wouldn't normally allow. But you are almost finished so you figure, it can wait a minute. I mean, what are the chances that the peanut butter that the darling child is supposed to be eating but that got spread on the neighboring chair will be a problem in the next 2 minutes?

I did stop sweeping long enough to help said child get her hands cleaned up before departing from the lunch table. Then it was back to sweeping like crazy. Except what are the chances that the peanut butter that you thought you wiped off the chair was actually on your hand, but you don't realize it until it is spread all over the flexible tubing of the vacuum? Can you imagine all of those creases in the tube are covered in peanut butter? I can.

What are the chances? Apparently the chances are pretty good. And I'm pretty tired!